When 51-year-old Kay Hardman was told she had lung cancer that had spread to her bones and brain, her first thought was disbelief. “It was a complete shock,” she says. “I was at the gym four times a week, eating well, working, fit and active.”
Her diagnosis came in April this year, after what she thought was a lingering chest infection. “I was sent for a chest X-ray on Friday, 4th April, and they asked me to stay for a CT scan. Alarm bells started to ring, but I was working that weekend, so I kept busy.”
The following Monday, the nurse practitioner who had ordered the scan called her in. “She told me there was a tumour in my left lung and it was cancer,” Kay recalls. “You hear that word, and for a minute it took my breath away. I cried a little, but then I thought, ‘OK, we’ll just whip it out and it will be fine.’ I’ve always been a glass-half-full person.”
Telling her husband was the next difficult step. “He was broken,” she says quietly. “Telling my children was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Thinking of all the things I wouldn’t see – weddings, grandchildren – it felt like grieving. I’m the glue, the constant in all their lives.”
Missed signs
Looking back, Kay recognises symptoms that were overlooked for years. “I’d been back and forth to the doctors with throat problems, chest pain, shortness of breath, fatigue and night sweats,” she explains. “I lost my voice several times and had bone pain, but it was always put down to something else – reflux, the menopause, a chest infection.”
Despite her persistence, she was referred to gastroenterology and gynaecology, but never respiratory. “I faced a lot of menopausal discrimination and a lack of investigation for my symptoms,” she says. “The GPs haven’t taken accountability, and I’d love for that to happen, so someone else doesn’t end up in my position.”
By the time her cancer was finally detected, it was incurable. “I was told I was palliative. I didn’t feel like a person with terminal cancer – I was fit, active and well. My kids were growing up, and I was ready to start enjoying life, travelling, and spending time with my husband. It was super hard to believe the words I was being told.”
Staying positive
Losing some independence has been tough – she can no longer drive due to the cancer in her brain – but she refuses to let it hold her back. “I still go to the gym, see my friends for coffee, and I have a bucket list I’m working through. I’m determined to stay positive and healthy for as long as I can.”
Kay has also taken control through lifestyle changes. “Having terminal cancer, you have very limited control over what’s going to happen to your body, so I decided to take some. I’ve gone keto – it’s helped me feel clean, energised and stronger.”
Raising awareness
With November marking Lung Cancer Awareness Month, Kay is determined to use her experience to help others. “I wanted people to know that it’s not always a cough that means lung cancer,” she says. “You don’t have to be old or a lifelong smoker. I can’t be the only one. I’m the youngest at the hospice – people often mistake me for a volunteer.”
She’s organising a fundraising event at her local leisure centre, where she used to work, to raise money and spread awareness. “I’ve been inundated with support from friends and family,” she says. “I’m hopeful it’ll be a success.”
Above all, Kay wants others to trust their instincts. “You know your body better than anyone,” she says. “Be persistent and advocate for yourself. This truly could happen to anyone.”
Her message is one of strength and hope: “Live for the here and now. Be open, loving, and appreciative of the little things. I’m still the person I was before the diagnosis — strong, positive, and ready to keep going for as long as I can.”