6 things we learned from Paul Moors Talk of Hope podcast
When Paul Moors first shared his experience of advanced lung cancer, he blew us away when he said cancer may take my life, but it also gave it back to me. When we heard that, we knew we had to get him on our Talk of Hope podcast. Here’s six takeaways from our latest episode.
Cancer has made life less stressful
“I know it sounds like a weird thing to say but I am genuinely grateful, if you can call it gratitude, to cancer for giving me my life back. It’s given the chance to see what life was, and is, about.
“I think like most people, I was living my days in stress and was letting my life go past me. I never had time for a breath. My business took the best out of me, and I never really had time for me. Even though I was a father, a grandfather, a husband, work seemed to overtake my life.
“It wasn’t until my diagnosis that I had to push pause; I had no other option. The breaks went on straight away and I had to make a choice – I could panic, or I could try and reclaim my life back by looking at what I was doing wrong in my life. Whatever time I have now, I know is my time and truly understand what’s important.”
Treatment isn’t as bad as you think – especially when ACDC is involved!
Paul has undergone targeted radiotherapy on his brain to successfully shrink the seven tumours.
“In my case, I had a mask fitted to my face which was then screwed down to a bed. This sounds worse than it actually is! It’s the thought that is bad. You just need to try and get yourself in a state where you can relax. For me, I just thought of my family. That’s who I’m doing this for. Plus, I had ACDC for company!
“I was told the machine I would go in cost £3million and yet, it didn’t have the ability to play music. Instead, the team had bought a CD player for £9.99 from Argos so people could listen to music whilst having their treatment!
“I’m a big ACDC fan so I brought along a CD and told they had to play it loud! Then I donated the CD after my treatment.
“And as for the immunotherapy, the worst bit for me is the day after when you have to rip the plaster off!”
Ask my wife how she is
Understandably, when someone is diagnosed with lung cancer everyone’s attention is on them. But as lung cancer affects the whole family, we need to check in on partners and family more.
“I think my diagnosis is harder for the family. Every little twitch or ache triggers an anxiety my wife has to deal with. She comes with me to most of my appointments, definitely all my oncology appointments but she seems to be left alone when really, she probably needs more support than I do.”
Co-host Mandee agrees. Recalling her own diagnosis and treatment, she shared how, whilst family and friends regularly checked in on her, they didn’t think to check in on her husband, Tony, as much as maybe they should.
“Our loved one’s shoulder it all. I was really ill during my treatment and Tony had to do everything. He had to look after the house, make sure I had something to eat and drink – all whilst worrying about me and what might happen. Only a couple of his friends really checked in on him. Everyone else just asked how I was.”
I like the bus!
Due to the brain mets, Paul had to surrender his driving licence but it hasn’t been as big of an adjustment as he expected.
“I’m a petrol head so this was a big adjustment. I used to drive 50,000 to 60,000 miles a year, so driving was a massive part of my life and always have been since I was 17. Surrendering my driving was a huge shock but my first thoughts were if I’m not safe to be on the road then I shouldn’t be on them.
“But I’m 11 months in now and I’m not that fussed anymore! Depending on the results of my latest brain scans, I may be able to reapply for my licence in the next month or so, but I’m ok about it, at least much more than I was six months ago.
“I enjoy walking. I enjoying walking in the rain! I enjoy feeling the wind. And I enjoy getting the bus! I never used to get the bus and now I have to, I really like it! I go to my Parkrun on a Saturday morning and I’m the only one on the bus. It’s like my own private carriage!”
“That said, I still ask my oncologist if I can get my licence back every time I see her!”
It’s so important to understand your cancer and treatment
Paul’s latest scans have been a bit of a mixed bag. His first scans showed five of the seven brain tumours had gone and the remaining two had shrunk and remain stable and his primary lung cancer is not visible.
In his latest scans, his body remains stable. However, his brain scan showed possible recurrence. The important word there is ‘possible’.
“I was fine when I got these results. My oncologist had a plan. She could arrange for me to speak to the brain specialist again, or we could wait six weeks.
“I knew that with immunotherapy, it can bring tumours back and bring some swelling but then dissolve them, so I didn’t go into panic at all. I just thought it could be my body doing something.
“By having that knowledge meant I could deal with those results the way I did. If I didn’t know that immunotherapy could do this, then it could have sent me into a spiral of panic.”
I’m not in a fight
It was Richard Nixon who first declared the ‘war on cancer’. Ever since, fighting language like you can beat this often goes hand in hand when someone shares their diagnosis, or when someone dies, they have lost their fight.
But Paul doesn’t see his lung cancer as something he has to fight.
“I really do see my lung cancer as part of me. It’s part of me that’s gone wrong, so I don’t want to fight myself. I have to accept it as me. All these phrases – fight cancer, destroy cancer, go to war on cancer – I don’t think like that. I don’t want to fight myself. I need to send love to myself. This is my life now and I want to enjoy every bit of my life, even the bad bits.”
Listen now
Check out the Talk of Hope podcast with Paul, as well as all of our previous episodes.