Losing a loved one to lung cancer is never easy. But for Jess Madeley, the loss of her mum, Val, has been devastating, largely because of the speed in which it happened.
Jess shares her mum’s story to highlight one of the lesser-known symptoms of lung cancer – amongst the public, but also healthcare professionals.
“Mum died just a month after she was diagnosed with lung cancer.
“I don’t say that to scare anyone but I also don’t think we should shy away from it either. Lung cancer can devastate families and we need to talk about it more if we are to stop it happening.
“My mum was my best friend. We lived just a few minutes away from each other and so would see each other most days. She would even come with us on our summer holidays.
Mum was 68 but incredibly fit and healthy. She still worked full time as a teaching assistant as well as running the breakfast and after school clubs, so she was on her feet from 7.30am to 6pm, and she still had enough energy to devote time to her two grandchildren.
“In August 2023, she was invited for screening as she used to smoke. She had quit smoking over 20 years earlier, which is why I think results suggested mum had a low risk of getting lung cancer and was not sent for a scan.
Hip pain
“Six months on in February, Mum started to suffer with severe pain in her hip. She could barely walk and work signed her off sick. She had an x-ray in early March, which came back clear and started doing exercises from the physio.
“The exercises did ease the pain a little but Mum continued to struggle. She literally hobbled through the Easter holidays. After one day at the beach, Mum deteriorated, once again struggling to walk. She also then admitted to me that she had coughed up blood on one occasion and had night sweats.
“We called 111 who told her to see her GP. The doctor sent mum for further x-rays – this time on her chest as well as her hip – and arranged for blood tests. Being a worrier, mum asked if they thought she had cancer.
“Mum had the x-rays on 22 April. She made her way to the car park when the nurse ran after her and said ‘You can’t leave. You’ve broken your hip and need to go to hospital.’
“It turned out Mum needed a hip replacement. It felt surreal considering how active she had been just a few months earlier. The news almost made us forget about the chest x-ray results, until two days later when the doctors dropped the bombshell that she had lung cancer. They told Mum this devastating news when she was on her own, which I find completely unacceptable.
Lung cancer on hold
“Despite this, we had to put the lung cancer diagnosis aside. Mum had her hip replacement on 26th April and came home on 3rd May. There had still been no discussion around Mum’s lung cancer. We knew the bone had been sent off for testing and that we’d know more when the results came back.
However, given there didn’t seem to be much urgency or cause from concern from the doctors, we thought it had been caught it early.
But we were very wrong.
“After the hip operation, Mum started coughing. Mum coughed so much that it made her sick and short of breath. My husband, Chris, called the lung cancer team. The bone test had come back inconclusive but Mum finally had an appointment about the lung cancer diagnosis. But it was not the news we hoped for.
“They deemed Mum unfit for chemotherapy by asking ‘If we put a gun to your head, could you run away?’ Mum answered no. The cough left her short of breath and it had only been a month since she had her hip surgery. How could she run?
“The doctor recommended that Mum went to hospice to regulate her breathing. Then, once Mum felt fitter, they would do a biopsy and make a treatment plan.
A glimmer of hope
“Things felt a little more hopeful at this point. Even Mum seemed better. We had lunch and, for the first time in a long time, she had her appetite back.
“We took Mum to the hospice the next day and settled her in. She was great. You couldn’t even tell there was anything wrong. She happily sat watching her grandchildren as they painted the nurses’ faces.
“Sadly, she then deteriorated. That night, she was put on oxygen because the cancer on her lymph nodes were starting to block her windpipe. The next day, she was moved to her own room and needed a syringe driver to keep her medicated.
“I stayed with her that night. She was sleeping more and more. At one point, she woke up quite agitated, but she said she loved me and said goodnight. The nurses upped her medication and, after that, she didn’t wake up again.
“I went home in the early evening and just as I got home, she passed away.
Struggling to cope
“The past few months have been very hard. I was not prepared to lose her so quickly because we did not know how bad the situation was. The hip surgery derailed the chance to treat her lung cancer and, as a result, I have so many what ifs.
“What if Mum had been fully screened? Would they have caught her lung cancer earlier?
“What if her hip pain had been investigated more thoroughly? Could we have avoided surgery? Would Mum have been fitter for treatment?
“The questions continue to plague me because Mum never had the chance to fight. We may have ended up at a similar point eventually, but the journey could have been far different and less traumatic. We could have had more time together.
“I don’t want things like hip pain to be brushed off, especially when it was so out of the original for Mum.
“I can take solace in the fact that Mum’s doctor is using her experience as a way to educate herself and her colleague about hip pain and exploring it further to find the problem.
“But I wanted to share her experience so more people are aware of it. I don’t want someone else to go through what my mum went through or what I am going through now as I face life without her.”
