Running the London Marathon has always been an ambition of Joseph Gill. He’s applied for the London Marathon ballot 11 times, and 11 times been unsuccessful.
Joseph considered applying for a charity place, but it didn’t sit right with him. There simply wasn’t a charity he felt passionate enough about to run for. Then, in 2022, his mum, Tracey, was diagnosed with lung cancer…
“Mum first started noticeably coughing in September 2020. My wife Lucy and I were moving into our first flat together and Mum struggled to carry any of the boxes or help with jobs she could usually do with ease.
“The cough kept coming back over the next few months, which we then put down at the time to being long covid. The symptoms were hardly surprising given the world we were living in at that point, so we didn’t think anything else about it.
“She did eventually test positive for covid a year later in the lead up to my wedding and it really hit her for six, something the doctors told us later was due to the cancer being at the early stages at that time.
“Then, in October 2021, our attention turned to my dad, Terry. He was diagnosed with cancer through diabetic screening. Fortunately, it was caught very early, and he had surgery in the December.
“After Dad fully recovered, we noticed Mum’s cough had returned and this time it was clear something wasn’t right. She was getting very short of breath and walks that should take 15 minutes were taking over an hour as she couldn’t do much exercise without a break.
“She had a chest x-ray and when my wife got a message from my dad saying he needed to give me a ring, I knew it was bad. Mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, and we were plunged into a world of uncertainty.
The saving grace
“When Mum received her diagnosis, she was given a booklet from Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation and this really helped us make sense of what was happening and what these long, complicated names meant.”
It also made us aware of the charity and the different support it offered, not just for Mum but for the rest of the family too.
“Mum joined the charity’s forum and enjoyed chatting to people on there. I think it gave her a safe space to ask questions and share things she wanted to protect us all from.”
“My family also used the charity’s website, which has a wealth of information. It explained everything really clearly and helped us to decipher everything. This also made me realise all of the fantastic work the charity does and how much they really help others in similar situations as ourselves”
“So when I was rejected from the London Marathon ballot again, I applied for a place with the charity. It was my chance to give back and help others the way Roy Castle had helped us.
The happiest and saddest of times
“Initially, Mum had a good response to treatment. She was on immunotherapy, and then chemotherapy. We then learnt her cancer had spread to her pancreas, but this was managed with a course of targeted radiotherapy.
“But, unfortunately, in March 2023 after some visible symptoms we were told the cancer had spread to her brain. Treatment was reduced, then eventually stopped. During all this, my wife and I were expecting our first child in July. Mum was determined to be here to meet him. I think having the baby to focus on kept her going.
“Over the next few months, Mum deteriorated. She was sleeping more and more, her body gradually shutting down. She started to receive hospice at home care. At the same time, my wife who had spent an entire pregnancy dealing with high blood pressure was admitted hospital. I was, of course, torn. I didn’t want to leave Mum but also needed to be with my wife.
“In the end, it was Mum who made that decision for me. Selfless as ever, she told me I needed to go and be with Lucy.
“Lucy was induced several weeks early on 21 June and less than 16 hours later our baby boy, Louie, was born on 22 June 2023. They were discharged the following day and we immediately took Louie to meet his nanny.
“Two days later, Mum passed away. It was heartbreaking but I am just so grateful that she was able to meet him. I really do think she held on to meet him.”
Meant to be
“After Mum died, life went into autopilot. As new parents, I wanted to push the grief aside and put all my energy and focus into looking after Louie. This meant I wasn’t taking proper care of myself and sometimes disregarding my relationship with my wife. I was eating and drinking too much and had lost my passion for running and exercise in general.
“Then in the New Year, I realised I needed to make a change. I went out for my first run on New Years Day 2024 and remembered why I loved it so much. It gives me time to myself, to think and clear my mind. It gives me the structure and focus I need. A healthy outlet to process everything that’s happened and by doing so I can now see a better version of myself, both mentally and physically.
“When March came and I received my annual rejection from the London Marathon ballot, I decided the time was now right to apply for a charity place, and it had to be Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation.
“I was delighted to get a place. It now feels like all those previous rejections were meant to be. I was meant to run it for this incredible charity and to help others in the same situation as my mum and family. I think it represents a selfless act, and Mum spent her life doing selfless acts helping anyone she could, so it feels a wonderful way to honour her.
“Training has been going well so far. I’ve achieved things in the last 12 months that I didn’t think I could. Before, the furthest I had run was about 7 or 8 miles. Now I’m running 10 to 11 miles with ease. I’ve still got a long way to go to be marathon ready but I’m up for the challenge!
“And when I inevitably hit that wall, I’ll visualise being reunited with Louie at the finish line to get through it, just like Mum did during her brave fight with the illness.”
You can donate to Joseph’s London Marathon fundraiser here ⬇️⬇️⬇️